I’m pretty sure a lot of us grew up trying to please others or were conscious of taking actions based on what other people thought of us. We put so much emphasis on how people perceive us.

“Does this dress make me look fat?”

“What would my friends think?”

“Should I say this? Will people think I’m being too rude?”

“Should I post this on social media? Is this too bold?”

“What if people cringe or make fun of me?”

We are so caught up in trying to make others happy, we totally forget about our happiness!

Fear of people’s opinions or FOPO (I know this is the weirdest acronym you’ve heard of xD) is very dangerous to ones self-growth!

A lot of us turn down opportunities just because we are scared of what other’s would think of us or are worried we might look like a fool.

It’s so hard to actually be ‘ourselves’ because we are all so caught up in society’s norms!

And I don’t mean you have to turn a blind eye by walking on all fours to prove your point.

What I mean is, take decisions based on your happiness and not on others!

Shift in perspective

Yes, I actually don’t care what people think of me, but you know what? Sometimes I do, and even though the situation is far better than who I was as a 13-year-old girl. Trying to please others and by playing it safe.

I must allude that these 5 perspectives or should I say ‘mindsets’ helped me be the person I am today!

What others think of you is NONE of your business!

Well, this makes no sense right?? If it is about ‘me’, it is my DAMN BUSINESS!

Yes, you do have a point, but to be honest, can you really control the way people think about you? I mean imagine begging 200 people who have met you during your lifespan. And forcing them to change their perspective about you into a positive one!

IT’S IMPOSSIBLE! There’s no way in hell you can change the way people think about you. IT IS THEIR OPINION, it’s their mindset and their brain.

Okay let’s see it this way, you love the colour black. But if Susan finds the colour red more appealing would you be offended that she doesn’t like the colour black?

You can’t expect everyone in the world to have the same viewpoint or preference the way you do.

In the same way, you can’t expect everyone to like you or have a ‘favourable’ opinion towards you. And that shouldn’t mean you should start wailing ‘why nobody likes me!!??’

Just the way you don’t find certain people favourable, certain people feel the same way about you. And once you accept that and stop caring about what others thought about you or your actions, you honestly feel the most redeemed!

Most people don’t care, the others care for only a brief period.

That’s honestly something I realized at such a later stage in my life, the amount of stress I gave into what others thought of me was so irrational.

In reality, honestly, no one gives a fu*k about the way you ‘accidentally stumbled’ or the way ‘you stuttered in the meeting.’

They may think about it for a good 10-30 seconds or maybe a week to play it safe but in the long run?

Boy, they won’t even recall what happened! They have their own life! Unless someone is obsessed over you, like a crazy stalker. No one has the energy to think about someone else’s life 24/7.

Everyone is selfish. In reality, all we think about is ourselves and our reputation. This brings this irrational cycle of this constant worry of what people thought of us when in reality they are thinking about themselves!

Makes sense? I hope it did.

Regret is the worst!

Nothing is worse than living in regret, I remember missing so many amazing opportunities, just because I was worried that I might look like a clown in front of others.

No matter what the end outcome might be, just go for it. If it’s something that makes you happy or something that you are really passionate about, nothing should stop you! Again people don’t care what you do, so it’s better you effing go for it!

You have one effing life!

Honestly, unless you’re Damon Salvatore(a vampire) you don’t really have unlimited time in your hands, all you got is now. You never know what happens next.

Life is a mystery, it comes with unexpected blessings and curses. But in the end, you learn a lot. It’s up to you to live it to the fullest or not. You wanna wear a daring outfit? Do you want to ask your crush out? Go for it, what’s the worst that can happen?

It won’t work out? What if it does? At least it’s better than not taking that leap and living in silence and regret all your life!

Don’t follow the sheep

It’s better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.

Elizabeth Kenny

To be different, to be yourself means to lead yourself on by your thoughts and actions and not let yourself be lead by others, or what society tells you to do.

I know a lot of us stop ourselves from doing things because people might not like it or not favour it. I remember I wanted to dye my hair for a long time. And I finally said ‘chuck it’ and went for it.

A lot of people liked it, many did not. Because I looked ‘different’ . A lot of people found it absurd. And you know what?

I could’ve been upset, but I was actually happy that people were talking about how my actions are different from others! After yearsssss of doing things according to what people said, or doing things the way it was ‘supposed’ to be done. I finally took actions that made me happy, I finally was my own person.

Getting piercings, dying my hair, writing blogs, making videos, sharing my heart out when I was silenced my whole life. I finally didn’t give a shit!

Because this is my life. And I’m the maker of it.

Similarly, you are the maker of your own destiny, the more you live according to what others say it won’t be your life, it would be theirs.