Having the right circle is imperative, and this was something I realized after a considerable amount of time! There’s one thing I believe strongly, is that we can’t necessarily get rid of people that are bad for us. They are going to be around, working with you in your workplace. It might be someone from your family or even someone from your friend group!
We can’t go full Thanos and eliminate toxic people out of our lives!
Yet what we can do is limit our interaction so it doesn’t negatively affect us.
“But Naomi! How do I even recognize who is toxic and who isn’t??”
That’s an amazing question, my imaginary reader.
Recognizing toxic traits was something even I was oblivious to! But after having years of experience among toxic friend groups. I’ve come up with a handful of red flags you can notice among your friends.
1. They are selfish.
I’m sure we all know certain friends who are only there when they need you. But when you need them they go, *poof,* or conveniently aren’t available.
Stay away from them! Or if you can’t, maintain certain boundaries. You can’t always be there for someone and give all your valuable time and energy and get nothing in return or no reciprocation!
Do not let yourself be used/ manipulated.
2. They treat you poorly.
These individuals have no consideration regarding your point of view, your emotions, your value. If you find any of your friends or anyone close to you. Treating you like trash… LEAVE THEM!
Don’t let anyone treat you less than how to deserve to be treated. Because at some point their treatment gets normalized and you start accepting their behaviour. That is dangerous.
3. GASLIGHTING!
“Waitttt, what does gaslighting even mean? “
Good point, imaginary reader. Gaslighting is a major red flag in a lot of relationships, therefore it’s very important to be aware of it.
Though the term, very uncommon, the phenomenon isn’t. In simple terms, it’s a form of manipulation where the other person makes you doubt your judgement or actions.
Even though the other person might be wrong they convince you into believing they weren’t at fault and make you question your accusations, gradually undermining your confidence.
Does this seem familiar? If no, you’re in good hands. If yes, I hope you know what you have to do…
…..Cut them off!
4. They don’t help you grow.
Do they gossip more than talk about goals and aspirations?
Are they getting you into bad habits?
Do you see them celebrating your achievements? Or do they seem unpleased with your victories? These traits are MAJOR red flags!
If you say yes, ask yourself. Are they really your friends?
Good friends are supposed to lift you, rejoice at your victories, encourage you to grow and develop into a better person.
5. Moody
“But Naomi aren’t most of us moody?”
Yes, being moody is okay, it’s normal. I’ll tell you what isn’t normal. Treating someone really special and amazing when one is in a good mood, but they treat you like garbage once they get upset.
They act all cheery one moment, and the next thing you know they are screaming at you. That’s immature, that’s toxic, that’s unhealthy. You end up blaming yourself for their reactions (overreactions).
Did any of these points ring any bells to you? If it did, it’s time to re-think, re-evaluate your friend circle. Friendships, relationships are an investment. The people around you are supposed to make you feel energized, not drain you. To help you grow instead of bringing you down. They make you smile more instead of making you feel miserable.
Your decisions are in your hands, make sure they are the right ones.
