Each one of us on this planet faces self-doubt. It is inevitable! Unless you’re as haughty as lucifer himself! Everyone goes through this cycle.
But how to deal with it, recognize and fight it makes all the difference.
It’s more of a double-edged sword.
Self-doubt can be positive or negative.
How can it even be positive?
Sometimes self-doubt allows you to reflect on your decisions and actions.
It allows one to be more grounded, it brings humility. We realize we aren’t always right, we challenge ourselves and look inwards.
The negative side to it:
Self-doubt can be a huge obstacle in one’s day to day activity if it gets too chronic. It can lead to constant negative thoughts, bring pessimism in one’s life.
You may lose motivation to do anything because you don’t believe in yourself, or doubt everything you do.
I would like to share my ‘DAMNNNN’ moment aka ‘realization moment’.
So…. I was feeling pretty low and told my close friend how I wasn’t doing anything significant at work, and how disappointing I am yadayada, and she asked me: ” Who said all that to you?”
And I froze because no one told me those words, I would sound like a fool if I said it was me! And yet it was!
All these self-doubts I get, regarding me not doing anything great. And how I am not capable to convince a client. Was all me!!
I was the culprit all along!
These negative thoughts lead to comparisons and ugly breakdowns.
And it’s ironic as my workmates/family never saw me as the ‘loser’ I convinced myself to be.
But in fact quite the opposite!
Self-doubt is really a leech to one’s happiness. You are limiting your potential by listening to the devil in your head!
Here’s what self-doubt leads to:
Self-hate:
From “Am I good at this? I don’t think I’m smart enough” to “I am a loser” “I am terrible at this, I hate myself”
You end up being unkind and saying hateful things to yourself.
Our minds are so powerful that the words you say to yourself gets ingrained in your subconscious, and becomes your reality.
Why do you think positive affirmations are so important and so impactful? They bring a shift in your mindset. Your thoughts become your reality. So be mindful of what you say to yourself.
Imposter syndrome
Imposter syndrome stems from self-doubt. One keeps questioning themselves, it’s an unreasonable feeling of feeling like a fraud, a phoney. And that all the achievements and victories were due to mere ‘luck’.
It can lead to series of thoughts of one feeling unworthy and can even lead to depression and anxiety.
Depression
Several studies have shown that chronic self-doubt can lead to mood swings, low self-esteem, anxiety and eventually depression.
Self-doubt is like this tiny monster that builds up and gets deadlier and dangerous.
From doubting our capabilities, our worthiness we start to drift apart from seeing the actual good and worthy aspects we have within ourselves.
Our perspective towards ourselves turns pessimistic. We start hating who we are.
“I seek strength, not to be greater than other, but to fight my greatest enemy, the doubts within myself”
― P.C. Cast
How to fight self-doubt?
Connect with yourself
When you get doubts regarding your competence, your capabilities. When you feel you aren’t good enough, you aren’t making any significance. It’s your soul asking you to take a break and reach within.
Cut everything off! Switch off your phone, find an empty room and talk to yourself, journal your thoughts, introspect. It may be in the form of meditation or asking active questions to yourself.
Question yourself, do these thoughts really define you?
Does a tiny failure determine your worth? Or you take it as an opportunity to grow?
Learn about yourself.
Ask yourself hard questions.
Do you deserve to be so hard on yourself?
NO, you don’t. You deserve love and understanding! No matter how much love and affection an external soul will provide you. If your soul within lacks it, you would always feel empty.
Time for some soul searching ! 😉
List down your achievements
“But Naomi, I don’t have any!?”
I would beg to differ 🙂
Anything you’ve done to bring a smile on someone’s face if all you did was get out of bed. That’s a victory! If you worked out for 10 minutes, it is a big deal as well! Achievements don’t always have to be, winning the noble prize or becoming a billionaire!
Especially for us, fellow imposter syndrome victims. We sell ourselves short SO MANY TIMES.
You might’ve achieved so much in your life, a little self-doubt can nullify all that!
Take a piece of paper and list all your achievements, anything you’ve done that you’re proud of. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
You are the boss 🙂
Your circle!
Ask your friends to list good things about you, you may be surprised by what they have to say!
Also, your friend group can impact your self doubting cycle a lot! Negative and toxic friends can make you feel like sh*t! The right ones are always there to appreciate you and bring the best out of you!
Just say F*ck it and take action!
Trust me I’m saying this from experience, I’ve lost so many opportunities just because I didn’t believe in myself enough. And I regret each decision to this day.
I’ve had big opportunities come in my way, and the inevitable thoughts were “are you sure you deserve it?” “What if you mess up?”
I countered those thoughts with, “yes I deserve it, that’s why I’ve gotten this opportunity”
And what if I don’t mess up? What if things go perfectly as planned? And of course, I do mess up. It doesn’t always turn the best way, but at least I tried.
Don’t let these thoughts overshadow your potential. What if things go wrong, but what if it doesn’t?
What if you turned out to be successful? There’s no certainty, give it your all and just go for it!
Nothing is worse than living in regret.
“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”
― Vincent Willem van Gogh
