It hurts, doesn’t it? Seeing a cute couple walking down the street or watching a video of people in love, on the internet, while on the other end of the screen you’re being called single in 1537 languages, bawling your eyes out wishing you had something like that.
Just me? Well, I always thought that being in a relationship would fill this void and emptiness I always had within me.
That this person would come and rescue me from my loneliness and make my life a little less miserable. And oh, yes I’ll get to show it off to everyone on the internet that I am ‘loveable’.
Wow, I didn’t expect to attack myself like that.
Anyhoo, after being single for almost my whole life so far, I’ve realized. It’s okay to be single.
I know that feeling all too very well of feeling left out, being the awkward third-wheel or that uncomfortable feeling of watching a couple shove their tongues down each other’s throats while you’re trying to have a meal.
But it’s important to realize that there’s no hurry, a lot of us get this FOMO of being in a relationship or are too scared to be by ourselves that we end up settling for just ANYONE!
To later realize that it was such a waste of our time and energy.
And a lot of us (Including me) aren’t even ready to be in a relationship as we have our own wounds to heal that we end up repeating our traumas by getting into toxic and abusive relationships or by hooking up with random people and ending up feeling more empty inside. Repeating the cycle all over again!
Yes, It might feel familiar or at ‘home’ because that’s all you’ve known. But I’m so sorry, that’s not a ‘relationship’ that’s self-destruction.
You deserve better.
You deserve someone who will reciprocate your love, where you wouldn’t have to question whether they love you or not, they will calm each fear that you have.
There’s no rush, no uncertainty, you find peace when you’re with them.
Anything other than that is not a relationship, you have to take a step back and reflect on what you’ve gotten into.
And being single is a choice you make, whether it’s for your own betterment and happiness or some other reason you think is best for you.
A lot of people I know can’t stand being single as they can’t imagine being by themselves. Like, how do you not enjoy your own company and expect others to enjoy it? How do you not love yourselves and expect others to?
Before any other relationship, you make in this world, whether it be your boyfriend/ girlfriend/ sugar daddy whatever it may be, the most important relationship you have is with you.
A lot of us tend to forget that, we look for qualities in other people not knowing that we can fulfil them ourselves. We look everywhere but within.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not implying you stay single for your entire life and turn into a priest/nun. What I’m saying is that relationships are not the answer, to your happiness, to your comfort, to your stability, to your loneliness.
You are. You are the answer.
Once you find out how to bridge that gap between you and your answers you will understand how sufficient you are by yourselves.
Relationships are always an add on to our lives, they come and go. They swell your heart with happiness and yet they shatter it to pieces. But don’t let it define YOU.
Let it be like a journey on a train where people come and go, each person teaches you something new, whether good or bad. Cherish them.
In the end, you learn something different from each experience.
So.. it’s okay to wait it out, to find someone who will make your life more meaningful, who will build you up, you don’t need to rush or chase. There’s always a timing for everyone (At least I believe that.) Everyone has different perceptions.
But at the end of the journey, at the final station, the only person you will find is you. All alone.
Sounds depressing yet comforting if you think about it. You’ve been your best friend, your comfort, your guidance and here you are with your soulmate, that’s you.
You were born into this world alone, and you will depart it alone. Why not make your journey worthwhile. Why not start fresh and build this relationship with yourself in a manner that completes you. You don’t need anyone to do that for you. You are complete.
