We all got demons within us, they are these strong evil personas we despise the most about ourselves.
A lot of us ignore or avoid our demons by engaging in various unhealthy activities like drugs, sex, alcohol, getting into toxic relationships, the list is endless!
I’ll be lying if I said I never engaged in any of these activities to escape my demons. GUILTY!
And honestly, no one looks forward to dealing with them. I rather deal with my 10 pending assignments or have a conversation with this annoying person I can’t stand!
But speaking in full honesty these days, I’ve sorta befriended my demons?
I know, I know y’all might be like “Naomi are you insane? You’ve befriended your enemy! Have you stopped taking your meds already??”
As counter-intuitive as it may sound, befriending your demons is the only way to make peace with them. You might want to exit this page after reading that line, but waitttt, don’t leave so soon!
Befriending your demons and making peace with them is actually more interesting and fun than it sounds.
Also yes, I will admit it isn’t pretty, AT ALL. I had some serious demons I had suppressed for a long time.
And when I opened the gate, to finally face them, let’s just say that what happened afterwards…. wasn’t really a pretty picture.
I felt I was in one of those horror movies and I had my demons encircling me 24/7.
All sorts of issues sprung up!
Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks…. I mean the number of issues I got, one after the other was a lil too much for me to take in.
And I wasn’t surprised if another ‘issue’ came up.
It was more like “Oh wow another one, welcome to the club! Let me introduce you to my demons, demon”
I honestly wasn’t too sure if I would make it, I had given up. I was so frustrated.
I relentlessly avoided them day after day, breakdowns after breakdowns that one day, I just got up and told myself to stop running! I literally acted like a blind old lady. Pretending they never existed!
The more I avoided my demons the stronger they got. And their presence was even more powerful.
That’s when I decided to face them.
EMILY
Meet Emily, my demon. She’s everything I don’t want to be, she is hella lazy, procrastinates a ton, got loads of trauma buried inside her, is abundant with negativity. You name it!
I remember I created her when I was in 11th grade. I was at this point where, I hardly studied, overslept every day and I was so overwhelmed with this demon within me, I created her character. She no longer was hidden within me.
I wanted a face-to-face MMA fight! (yes the fight was mostly imaginary)
It’s funny I chose the name ‘Emily’ as it literally means ‘Rival’.
Which was pretty apt as she always pulled me down and prevented me from reaching my potential. I ignored her my whole life. Until one day, I got her out of that cage I locked her in.
I know it’s a lot to take it, some of you might wonder if I’m smoking crack while I’m writing this.
But pushing your demons to the corner thinking you will move one step forward is only taking you 2 steps back. Get that freking demon out of you, as they say, ‘Unleash your demons!’
Angels and demons- 2 sides to the coin
Emily can be a complete bitch, but she has been a boon to me too.
She helped me chase a better life, she helped me get stronger, every trauma I went through, every breakdown I had.
She reminded me that I, in no way wanna be her!
Every time she prevented me from getting help in any task, she made me more independent and self-reliant.
Every guy I turned down, as I was too scared to get into a commitment she gave me more time to fall in love with myself.
I always viewed my demons as these evil and vicious parts of me, but they had a positive side too.
Even though I had to sit with her, and deal with her. Counter every issue I had suppressed. It definitely wasn’t easy, but it was worth it, if I didn’t go through all that, I wouldn’t have been this strong!
I’ve understood myself on a deeper level than I thought I ever would.
We will never really become our best versions if we don’t embrace the worst within us.
And once we accept our demons, we are truly liberated from the parts we avoid the most.
Your demons are not the problem
Your shadows/demons aren’t the problem, the problem is the avoidance. The fact one thinks running away or distracting oneself can solve the issue. It only gets worse in the long term.
Your demons get bigger and stronger.
Let’s take a realistic example. Let’s suppose you have a business the machinery has a tiny defect.
You decide to shrug it off as it doesn’t seem like a ‘major threat’ even though it is definitely a threat.
Well, fast forward to a couple of weeks. The machine is a disaster and had caused a loss worth thousands!
Yes, I did use that as a metaphor. And yes, it surprisingly did turn out to be pretty apt (damn, I’m finally getting good at this! *blushes*)
Befriending your demons
You can’t get rid of your demons because they are a part of you. They are what that makes you, you!
Fighting them, ignoring them will only lead you to a path of self-sabotage and destruction. It’s not something you want to look forward to.
And let’s be honest, we aren’t Gods, we have tons of imperfections and it’s okay!
No matter how dark and how scary your demons are, they make who you are, they are your shadows.
To get rid of your shadows would mean to get rid of the light. Meaning to live a life in darkness. Carl Jung, a famous psychoanalyst wrote about this. And it shook me.
Jung mentioned that we have to fuse our darkness into ourselves. Our insecurities, our shames, our worst fears and to truly accept them for what they are.
You don’t have to agree with them, nor abide by it. But accept them. Once you do that, you slowly work towards reducing their impact on you.
I used to project a lot of my fears onto people but now I accept that I have this demon within me, I work on reducing the negativity it created.
You can’t expect success without going through failures, there won’t be light without darkness. It’s yin and yang.
Once you accept and embrace your demons, you truly would be at peace.
“Everyone does not have to fight with their inner demons. Some of us learn to dance with them.” – Veer Paul
