In life, there are many incidents and circumstances that shape us. Some give us that push and inspiration while others bound us and attach us to these specific upsetting memories, which are so hard to forget or ‘get over’.
That’s trauma, it’s our past, that’s always there with us, haunting us . And it affects our present, the way we function, the decisions we take, the way we cope.
While trauma is something that never really leaves us, as we grow we have two options: to make peace with it or let it get the better of us.
It sure does get the better of me, for years it has. Until at one point I was done being a coward by repressing and avoiding it. And boy do I know multiple unhealthy coping mechanisms xD!
You tell me, if you injure yourself, let’s say you get a fracture. Do you completely ignore the injury and pretend it never really occurred? Obviously, you go to the doctor and get it treated , but to do that you have to address the injury, even if it means going through painful procedures to get it healed.
What healing really is
What my point is, when we suffer from really traumatic events in our lives, most of us tend to repress those emotions or neglect them. But real healing comes from Acceptance, facing those thoughts/ trauma, those memories and YOUR PAST. That has enslaved you for years. It’s about loving yourself and who you are.
Well , how do you do that?
How to heal?
By confronting each negative thought you get and challenging them, by forgiving your past and accepting it , by not letting your trauma define you because you are an amazing and strong individual irrespective of what has happened!
Write down your feelings, talk about your trauma to someone you trust or if not you can definitely journal it, seek a therapist! Start inculcating healthy coping mechanisms , go out for a run, learn something new! As cliché as they sound they make a world of a difference !
“Healing takes courage , and we all have courage , even if we have to dig a little to find it “
Tori Amos
Whatever you do never repress your trauma, many people told me to just ‘Forget about it’ or ‘distract yourself’ but that instead backfired because I suppressed it so much that it bottled up and bit me in the back! So instead, I’ve started facing my trauma, by saying to myself “You know what? What happened to you in the past was terrible and I’m sorry you had to go through something so vile, but you’re strong , and a badass! And you won’t let your past affect your present.”
Sheesh!! Corny! I know! But it encourages you a lot, makes you feel better. Sometimes corniness is important .
And don’t think just like that boom! You’re healed. Healing is a process, it takes time , understanding and patience . It can be really painful to encounter a past that you’ve been avoiding . It’s chaotic, because our brains are equipped to make us feel comfortable and facing our trauma? That is hella uncomfortable and aching but there’s growth and healing in that.
And I’m proud of you, if you’re trying to heal and constantly improve yourself and not letting your past get the better of you. That’s an achievement in itself!
