Does it get better? Do I ever find happiness? Will the void in my heart ever get filled?
I used to, and still, ask myself these questions. Life gets difficult and hopeless at times. Everything loses its meaning and we tend to wonder ‘Is this going to be permanent?’ When does this endless cycle of suffering end?
If you’re at the same place, I see you, I understand what you’re going through. It’s not easy. It’s difficult to stay strong all the time. You can’t fake it anymore! You just wished it could get better.
Just like you, I did lose hope. But why am I writing this to you?
Is it because I wanted to give a cliche answer to finish my article off, or write something completely meaningless? (Hopefully I haven’t done that)
But, jokes aside, it’s because I want to make you feel that you aren’t alone, and there is hope!
The answer is in your hands.
In life, pain and suffering are a part of who we are and it is inevitable. It makes life, LIFE! It shapes us as individuals. Just like yin and yang, our life consists of both happiness and sadness. We can’t get rid of the sadness and pain, but we learn to live with it and battle it.
I know you might think that this is a very pessimistic remark. But our pain and sufferings are like those bitter medicines that make us barf. But in the long run… It makes us stronger. ( I really hope this metaphor made sense :p)
As time goes by we learn to cope and deal with such trials and tribulations.
It might be really hard to live with it initially. You feel like giving up at times. But you progress as time goes by. You get stronger each time.
But.. did I find happiness?
More than finding ‘true love’ I’m in search of finding ‘true happiness’.
(Now that I read that line it sounds funny, but it’s true.)
Growing up in a hostile and abusive household, I never believed that I deserve joy or happiness. And that pain and depression are an integral part of who I am as an Individual.
Until I decided to change that.
And that’s where the answer lies.
You decide to change that.
Every little action you take, every decision you make to improve your life, is a step you take to make your life better.
Yes, I could easily live in my misery and bathe in my depression. And I do find it comforting, as that’s familiar to me. But I don’t want to live like that.
And at times there is 0 motivation left in you, what do you do then?
Everyone has different approaches to this, but at times when you feel like not doing anything, don’t.
Let go! Pamper yourself, watch your favourite show, order your favourite food. Lock the room and dance like a monkey, talk to someone you love.
But a huge part of getting better is to take care of yourself, to love yourself, even during days when you don’t feel like it.
It’s difficult to get out of your comfort zone! It’s difficult to wake up and go to the gym every morning! (I still can’t haha) But I try! Because I do want my life to get better. I do want to see growth and make my family proud. And I know you do too!
I know it seems almost next to impossible to change your life for the better. It feels like you’re getting painfully dragged. And that’s why healing is so difficult and time-consuming. There are days when you feel you’re finally happy and can’t stop smiling and there are days when you just can’t control your tears or get out of bed.
But guess what, you keep on going. No matter what it is. Because the next day, the pain gets a little lighter, you heal a little more.
Your lows are inevitable and what makes you stronger.
Running away from them just makes it worse. Battle them and overcome them. Or let it consume you.
The choice is yours.
And that’s where YOU answer the question “Does it get better?” You have the power to decide that. Not me, nor your therapist or even your next-door neighbour!
It’s you 🙂
